I’m finally ready to lose the weight!!!
Three years ago my second son was born and ever since I have been stuck at the same weight. Unable to shake this last little bit. For most of my life I’ve gone between 125lbs and 135lbs, spending my 20s in that 130-135 range. For reference I’m 5’1” (5’2” according to my license though, lol) and have always been super active. I played sports year round through college, I danced and after college continued to crave movement.
I also grew up without a scale in my home (thank you mom and dad!) so I never knew what I weighed and I also never really cared. It wasn’t something we talked about in our family and since I was always so active I was thin my whole life. I also love to eat and never was even tempted to try and control my food intake. Seriously, I gave up chocolate one Lent and on Easter morning I got a basket of chocolate and my husband told me to never do that again, hahahaha.
This isn’t to say I was super confident about my body, but it is to say that I wouldn’t spend a whole lot of time worrying about it.
Because of all this even the thought of saying “I’m going to lose 20lbs” sounds ridiculous. Yet, for some reason it’s helping me get my motivation. I may not lose 20lbs, and I’m not even going to focus on the number, but I’m finally ready to step up my game a bit. Plus my husband and I are going on a hiking trip in a few weeks and I want to be prepared as much as I can.
If it’s not about the number, why in the world am I even writing this blog?
I’m doing it because over the last three years I haven’t been ready to push myself physically. In the past 8 months I backed off exercise on purpose. I was at a crossroads in my life and even though I was working out my body wasn’t responding. My morning exercise time turned it into meditation and journaling instead. I went from working out 4-5 times a week to 2 at the most. I went from running and high cardio to only Barre3 on the weekends.
Taking that time for me to get clear in my head is what propelled me to make these recent major shifts in my life such as leaving my full-time job to pursue entrepreneurship. Not only did I make this decision, but I made it with faith and confidence.
I’m still meditating and journaling but I got the itch to start moving my body with more high intensity workouts. Breaking a sweat, jumping high, breathing heavy….yup that’s what I need right now. I actually forgot how good those kinds of workouts can make me feel.
Well I went to the doctor recently and the scale read 150lbs, which I wasn’t surprised at because that’s where I’ve been at the last three years.
It’s not about the number, but that number gives me a goal. Whether I reach that number or not is honestly irrelevant.
Instead I will be looking at how my clothes fit, my muscle tone and how I feel. The number is more symbolic than anything.
As I write this I wonder if I’m even explaining it clearly, but in my head it makes sense so I’m going with it!!
FYI – You won’t see progress pictures either because I’m not totally comfortable with them. This is a journey for me and for me alone. Yes I’m sharing my story, but not for the congratulations or the “you look great comments”. I am beautiful the way I look now and no offense I don’t need anyone else to tell me that!! This weight loss journey is about moving my body in a way that makes me feel happy. It’s about being in a clear head space where I can focus more on my body. It’s about being comfortable in my skin and being strong of course…always about being strong!!